W010: Notes
Eyebrow Blindness and our eagerness to be manipulated, How Michaela Stark makes us uncomfortable, What do we owe our parents?, We look like our names.
Eyebrow blindness and our eagerness to be manipulated
I love these trends. Millions of people on TikTok are currently reflecting on their past beauty mistakes. The ‘beauty blindness’ trend that kicked off with eyebrows, has since made the rounds to blush, freckles and any other beauty trend we’ve collectively succumb too in the past. The thing that made me stop and think was.. did we really not see how bad our eyebrows were or did we just so desperately want to participate or look like *enter trending celebrity/model/influencer* that we convinced ourselves that we were pulling it off?
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I think the issue with these “beauty trends” isn’t the individual features being promoted, may it be bushy eyebrows, thin eyebrows, big lips, thin lips, big butt, flat butt, fox eyes, doe eye, freckles, etc. etc. (It’s kinda nice when one of your own features makes the rounds) It’s that we are trying to copy paste the natural features of others on our own canvas.
I loved Cara Delevingne eyebrows once upon a time, but bushy brows on me never worked. I remember a make up artist putting big eyebrows on me for a show and on my way home in the train I was getting some interesting stares. And not the, omg-she-look-great stares but more the whats-with-her-eyebrows? stares. They simply did not fit my face. It looked off. But the purpose of the make up was to make all the models look similar not to enhance our individual beauty. Just like these “beauty trends” seem to do.
While doing research into this topic I bumped into this article on Allure which does a wonderful job diving into the subject. The writer Nicola Dall’Asen says , “I realised what eyebrow blindness really is: an excuse for participating in a trend culture people don’t want to admit they’re susceptible to.” She’s right, in a way these TikTok confessions of “blindness” gamify reflection without taking responsibility for our deeper issues. She says, “To attribute your beauty mistakes of the past as any kind of “blindness” is to say that you weren’t responsible for them, but that’s the thing: you are!”
Interestingly, TikTok is currently celebrating blush blindness while admitting to having blush blindness. It could not proof Nicola’s point more. Many of us are in fact willingly participating in these trends - eyes wide open. The issue isn’t blindness, it’s that we are so eager to be manipulated into, and participate in, each trend that is marketed to us. As Nicola says, “The beauty industry has historically told women and femme people that the most desirable eyebrows are the ones they don’t currently have”. We know this, and yet…
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Instead of attributing these reflective moments to “blindness”, I wonder if it’s possible to debate our weaknesses and admit to our complicity? What if instead of ‘blindness’ we talk about our perpetuating lack of self acceptance, the insidious need to compare ourselves and of course, our desperate and contradicting attempt to fit in while equally desiring to stand out? (Seems like a good time to push my fave book again ‘Escape from Freedom’)
Then again… that doesn’t sound like a viral TikTok topic does it. And… the latest Rhode blushes do look so so good.
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How Michaela Stark makes us uncomfortable
Following the above topic it seems fitting to touch on Michaela’s recent show at the Tate. Art is suppose to make people feel something and Stark’s work is a testament to this. Aside from the huge support she now has, the comment section shows us exactly what Stark’s work sets out to reveal. The mockery, shaming and sometimes even violent comments that are thrown at the female bodies that don’t conform to our societal “standarts”.
I find it especially compelling when these observations come from women who seem unaware of—or struggle to grasp—Michaela's true intentions. To me, her work highlights the stifling reality of beauty and our relentless urge to conform to societal pressures and expectations. We're constantly trying to fit, squeeze, and mould ourselves to meet the ever-changing demands of society’s beauty ideals in spite of our naturally born features.
Michaela’s work resonates deeply; it’s both striking and profoundly unsettling. The forms she creates are not only captivating, sculpting her body like clay, but must equally be deeply challenging. I wish I would have been able to see her performance at Tate - a torturous and breathtaking display of beauty. Even on my screen it’s beautifully painful to watch.
What do we owe our parents?
I moved to Australia in 2014. It means that I have lived away from my country, my family and dear parents for 10 years. That’s a long time. That’s many years of experiences that they, as parents, including becoming grandparents, have missed.
My son is so far the only grandchild for my parents (where he’s the 14th for his Australian grandparents) and this was the only chance my father ever got to experience being an ‘Opa’ before he passed back in April.
I often think about how my decisions have impacted them—and my son. How I have taken away such a precious once in a life time experience. For my father this chance is now gone, but what about my mother? The plan was always to return to Europe, but with everything that has unfolded since my father's passing, I've come to a poignant realisation: I don’t want to leave. Not just yet.
This realisation is confronting. It forces me to reevaluate my identity and, perhaps more painfully, it means I won’t be able to offer my mother the full experience of being a grandparent. Furthermore, the love and care of her daughter will always be far away.
“Do I owe my mother the knowledge her daughter is fulfilled and raising a happy and resilient grandchild - or.. do I owe her love in proximity?”
It has made me question how much we ‘owe our parents’. One part of me says everything. My life for one — my confidence, my incredible childhood. But, once we become parents ourselves… what then? Do I move, shake everything up, create stress and tension for my son, my family? Do I task myself to start over from scratch and give up all I, we, have worked so hard for? Or do I owe my mother that I myself become a good mother. Do I owe my mother the knowledge her daughter is fulfilled and raising a happy and resilient grandchild - or.. do I owe her love in proximity?
We look like our names
I've been captivated by this topic over the last few days. After watching the video below—from an account that should definitely be included in any deck showcasing well-crafted and dedicated social media strategies—I couldn’t help but dive into some obsessive research on the phenomenon. I’m so intrigued by how our environment influences our psychology and how, in turn, that can affect our appearance and this perfectly encapsulates that connection.
In the study, researchers examined the “social tag” that is associated with us in early life. Our name. “Research demonstrates that facial appearance affects social perceptions. The current research investigates the reverse possibility: Can social perceptions influence facial appearance?”
Each name has associated characteristics, behaviours, and a look, and as such, it has a meaning and a shared schema within a society. Their hypothesis was that over time, these stereotypical expectations of how we should look may eventually manifest in our facial appearance. Their study has proven them correct saying;
”The face-name match implies that people “live up to their given name” in their physical identity. We are subject to social structuring from the minute we are born, not only by our gender, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status, but also by the simple choice that others make in giving us our name.”
On two different sites my name is mostly associated with tough, then sweet, followed by classic or timeless. Idk… I kinda feel that fits? Find my face here and let me know.
